There are some days when you feel the need to escape from everything. You want to lock your door, lay on your bed and just stare at the ceiling.
There are different feelings around your neck and they don't allow you to breath. You feel weak but strong, sad but happy.
You wait for a call. You keep waiting for someone to remember, for someone to realise that you are trapped in a salad of feelings. You know you're waiting for nothing, but there is still hope.
You have been there for everyone and just for once you need people to be there for you. You need a hug, a nice word, a little smile. That's all!
You need support, but can't get any because everyone is so selfish.
And then... Just then you understand what is wrong with you. You aren't selfish. You wonder how can this be wrong. In a world full of selfish people, you are unique. So, they envy you. They hate you and they wish you suffocate in your sadness and melancholy.
This thought makes you stand up, open your door and wear your personality again. Your strongest weapon is something they can't take away. Your fighting spirit wakes up.
Your victory smile takes over your face. You don't need them. They are all the same, you are different. You need your dreams and you need power to make them come true.
Your dreams matter, your humanity matters, you matter. Don't let anyone take you for granted. Fight for yourself!
A few days ago, I decided to reorganize my documents, which included my exams papers, essays, old school books, New Year's cards, short stories, better said all kinds of papers.
Through all process, I redescovered lost pieces of me. As the pages turned in those old school books covered in dust, I saw my used-to-be self. In some certain moments, I felt sorry for letting go of a person who seemed to be stronger than the one I am now. But some minutes after I would have liked to punch my old self in the face.
When each day passes we feel like nothing changes, but when we turn our head behind everything is different.
That is the moment when you fall in dispair. The moment when you see the more sociable you, the happier you, the better you and hope to catch some old sparkle from the good things left behind. Then you remember that even back then you had experienced sad things. That's life!
What I love the most about reorganizing after long times, is that the probability of finding letters writen to you by friends is way too high. Sometimes you don't even remember all those hand-writen little pieces of paper. That is a moment of happiness and nostalgia.
I love it! Makes me feel supported and loved. Makes me remember that somewhere, someone, sometime, used to like me and used to be by my side.
Fabio Volo in one of his books says that when you grow old you will live with your memories. You will eat with them, sleep with them, walk with them. So the best thing to do is collect as much good memories as you can, because those will have the most value when the end comes.
